My boring routine. And test jitters.

It's kind of amazing how bored yet busy you can be in life.- Shambhavi Rai 

Here's a lowdown of my schedule these past few weeks-
12/1/2 (!!!!) pm- Wake up
12/1/2 to 3 pm- Waste time on WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, eat something, listen to your mom rant about wasting time, not necessarily in that order.
3-5 pm*- Study. Get interrupted by WhatsApp messages, or Facebook messages, but never turn your phone off, also keep studying. If it's on silent, keep checking for new messages/notifications every few minutes, then go back to studying
5-6 pm- Take a break because oh my god, I've studied for two whole hours (ignore the small interruptions)
6-8 pm- Catch up on the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother/The Originals/New Girl/Modern Family/The Vampire Diaries, analyse the entire episode with reviews on Wetpaint, watch promos for the next episode, read a few Wikipedia bios of guest stars.
8-9 pm- Study again. Interruptions included, OBVIOUSLY.
9-10 pm- Bigg boss, bigg boss, bigg boooooossssss. (Sing it, guys!) Gauhar and Kushal FTW.
10-11 pm**-Talk to mom, which more often than not includes some lecture about not studying. Love you though <3 font="">
11-4/5 am- Study. With interruptions. Do I really need to say it?
4-5 or 5-5:30 am- Catch up BuzzFeed, Cracked, Flipboard, Slate, Jezebel. I am an aspiring writer and all that no?
5/5:30-12/1/2 pm (!!!!)- Sleep! Oh I love thou, slumber.

*On alternate days, I endure my Maths and Accounts tutors for those two hours.
**On Fridays and Saturdays, I watch 24 (the Indian version. Shut your face if you want to say something about plagiarism. I absolutely LOVE that show.)

So I am hoping you can judge by my wonderful routine how I am going to be acing all my tests. I have two Subject Tests (aka SAT II. Most 'good' colleges require them.) on 7th of December. Like the oh-so-responsible person I deem myself to be, I forgot to register. Because it's completely normal and forgivable to forget what you've kind of been preparing for since three-four months no? No.
I am waitlisted now and I am absolutely terrified that I MAY return from the test center without giving the actual tests.
Pray for me, anyone and everyone reading this.
In another scenarios, if I am admitted to the tests after all I'll actually have to give them. What's more scary, I am thinking.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
I am so so scared even though contrary to what my routine may suggest, though studying-hours-with-interruptions have prepared me enough to pass with respectable scores, I think. I hate test jitters seriously. In fact, before all important tests I always start to freak out and end up studying on the last day because I have to keep distracting myself with other things to stop myself from well, I can't think of a better term than freaking the fuck out! 
And that actually sucks a lot more when you consider that I am procrastinator, as a result of which I always make a 'prepare on last day' compartment in my mind for a few things. For example, some volumes and areas formulae for the Math Level 1 Subject test. I have to properly learn them on 6th, which is tomorrow (technically today but it's not the next day unless you sleep, right?) and I am just going to be thinking- What's gonna happen? What if I don't know anything? What if it's completely different from the practice papers? What if I am not allowed to even sit for the test??????????????????????

Like I said, pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssse pray.
And fans of One Direction, I am from the same family. Pray for a fellow directioner? :)

Also, can I just take a minute and talk about Paul Walker? I know for a fact that I hate seeing new RIP Paul Walker posts on my news feed each day because it just reminds me of the tragedy so I hate to do it to someone else but I need to get it out that I loved that guy. Honest to God, I loved the Fast series because of him. I am just ashamed to admit that I didn't know much about him except his all-encompassing good looks and charm prior to his death. He was raising funds for Philippines practically MINUTES before he died. He was into marine biology, he was a surfer, a professional racer and more than all that, an amazing father. All his interviews about Meadow Walker are so adorable.
I am sure he is watching over her from wherever he is now.
Rest in peace you beautiful soul :)
Also, I don't have much to say about the guy who died with him, Roger Rodas, because he wasn't a 'celebrity' so people don't really know (or care to know, sadly.) much about him. From what little I found out, he was a father of two and his 8-year old tried to save him, after he saw the car wrecked. That's absolutely heartbreaking. I know I didn't know of his existence before he tragically passed away, yet I want to say Rest in Peace, Roger Rodas.

Things that annoy me

Yes I suck for not posting more often, but can we get back to that later?
I am super duper bugged about something right now (wow, did that really sound as 2nd grade as I think it did?)
So we got our first semester results today. I was expecting something in 70s (which was bad enough as it is because it's 12th. You can't be a scholar your entire life and get casual in your senior year because the rest of it really doesn't MATTER.) so I was pretty cool when my entire class had hoarded our class teacher for a glimpse of the result (which by the way, they were going to get anyway. What was the point, guys?) but then my result was announced and I was.......not so cool after that.
I got 5-bloody-8%. You read that right. 58.
And the worst part? I actually deserve it. That right there is what is annoying the HELL out of me. Okay so I missed two tests, I had SAT to worry about and then I enrolled in this dance workshop and took part in Teachers Day but those are just what they sound like! Excuses! I know a lot of people who do so much more and yet manage to score a lot more. Heck, I used to do much more and score a lot more. What happened to me? 
I'll tell you what. I just didn't study. Really, that's the bottom line. I remember opening the Economics book one day before the test was scheduled, just because. I remember literally laughing at how abhorrently unprepared I was for the Accounts test. I remember how I totally gave up on Maths. I remember how I got 67/100 in ENGLISH. (Okay, very very frankly, that may have something to do with my teacher who hates me for no reason. I gave her reasons later to hate me more, but only AFTER it was established that she hated me. But do you take your anger out on a student's marks? That is so petty.) Anyway ENGLISH. My knight in shining armor, my Elixir of life, and it kicked me right in the face. The subject that surprisingly saved me is Business, the subject that annoys me the most ironically. 
In short I remember how extremely casually I took all the tests, and the results more than show.
True, the reason I took these tests casually was because I thought in the long run they really didn't matter, so what's the point? 
That still holds true BUT GRDGKDGWARFTWDEAWDSGDDFHDTE. I can't handle such marks. 
I know I sound completely vain and insipid right now but bear with me Blogger!

So anyway I have come up with the conclusion that marks may not matter in the long run but they do matter in the short run and that it's embarrassing the fuck out of me. Also, the worst part is that now whenever mom tells me to study I can't go all 'Just see my marks' because my marks are sadly no longer worth seeing.
Yashwi being a total darling reminded me there are mocks and two pre-boards left to study hard for and she's right but........oh my god WHY didn't I study? 
Why why why?
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?

I am done, I think. For the moment at least. 

Let's talk about some other things that annoy me to no end. Exhibit A, our school is conducting the half yearly exams of every class except 12th right now and as a result the students of different buses are combined while going back home, as the other students have already left. (Believe me that boring piece of information was necessary.) So anyway, a few days ago I entered the bus and sat on the second last seat like always when this teacher, who goes by some other bus but who was sitting in my bus because of the aforementioned combining of the buses, tells me to sit in front because it's a new rule that girls can't sit at the back. Excuse me, but what the fuck? I point blank refused of course. But it's been annoying me ever since anyway because IT'S THE 21ST CENTURY! What do you mean girls aren't "allowed" to sit at the back? Why the hell not? And to think that she herself is a female. It is beyond me how people find it in themselves to utter such rubbish. I was so prepared to fight her every day, I actually wanted her to take me to the co-ordinator (though I was pretty sure she wouldn't because it cannot be a rule, so what would be her grounds?) but sadly, and very annoyingly again, I couldn't go to school the next two days. The first day I missed my bus, and the second day my alarm didn't ring. (No I didn't secretly put it on silent to miss school like I sometimes do so mom won't hear it. I don't know why it happened. Maybe God wanted me to sleep?) and when today I went to school she didn't come!
Please god please, make sure our buses are combined on Monday because I SO want to make sure she knows I know what's allowed and what's not.

The other thing that's annoying me is that I am so indecisive about my future right now. October 2 is the last date for registering for SAT Subject Tests and I still can't decide if I want to sit the tests or not. I can't decide if I want to join CLAT coaching classes or not.
I decided against the coaching classes because I wanted to concentrate on 12th but we all know how THAT turned out, huh? :(
(on a side note, Blogspot, you need Emojis! Just a shoutout in the blogspot universe, let's hope someone notices it)

So any curious reader (who has managed to read thus far into this post, thankyou very much) must be wondering what exactly I am doing when I am not studying and/or doing anything else of any relevance? Well, I have come across this gem of a series that has given my life a new meaning. It is super mega foxy awesome. It's Community. Also, How I Met Your Mother, Modern Family, New Girl, and Glee are back. Not to mention Vampire Diaries will be back on October 2 (THE ORIGINAL PREMIERE GUYSSS) and then there's the Pretty Little Liars Halloween special on October 22 (RAVENSWOOD TOO, YOU GUYSSSS.) 
Spoiler alert- A detailed TV obsession post coming soon..

Now just tell me, how am I supposed to find time to study? 
I know I know, it's just a matter of time before my mom pulls the plug and I shall be left in a TV-WhatsApp-Instagram-less universe. 
I won't say novels because if even I am left without novels I shall quite simply cease to exist. Which reminds me, I am FINALLY reading To Kill  A Mockingbird which is such a great book! Everything they say about it is true true true. Once I am done, I'll dedicate an entire post to it.
On a related note, is it a sin to not like The Catcher in the Rye? Because I found it so utterly boring I had to force myself through each page. Why are people so obsessed with it again? Holden Caulfield is the phoniest person alive yet everything anyone does is phony to him. The most irritating thing was that everything 'killed' him. That killed me. (Was that hypocritical?)

Oh oh oh..it's Bigg Boss time.
Yes, you can all guess how much my poor result has affected me. 
*Ashamed*
Laters, baby. 
(You still suck E.L. James)

My favorite John Green quotes

Every sane person on the face of the planet knows that John Green is a genius. He should quite simply rule the world. He is a writer you can't stop reading once you've begun. His YA characters actually have more to think about than school woes and first loves and parental problems.
I can't remember a time I haven't wondered about the secrets of the universe, about life after death, life BEFORE death. Why, what, how, when, where? John Green is evidently engrossed by such stuff too, which is why I love him so. I remember when Pudge was preparing his school project for his Religions class, where they had to form a question and attempt to answer it with help from different religions. When he forms 'What happens after death?', I literally screamed with delight..Pudge, me too me too me too! 

This particular post has been brought on by reading Paper Towns. It shouldn't be termed as a novel. It should rather be called a quotes book, packed with thought provoking and awesome quotes that can consume you. I loved Quentin's musings, Radar's Santa woes, Ben's badass-ness (or so he'd like to think) and Margo's uniqueness.
John Green says "Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we're quoting". On that note, here I go- 

Dancing blues

I realize it's been more than a month (One month, twenty days to be very accurate) since I last took out time from my not-so-busy-as-lazy life to do what I love! Imagine not even taking out time for things you love. Wow, I must have been born with some rare kind of a lazy gene, because I take slothfulness to an entirely new level.

Exhibit A- Can you believe that I slept around 4 last night (some people might call it dawn, but what the hell? It's night for me!) and woke up by 12, and I AGAIN slept at 5 in the evening? In my defence, the evening sleep lasted for less than an hour but it's still mighty unacceptable. But then again, I love sleeping, so isn't that kind of taking out time for one of the things I love? Was my mind subconsciously making up for time missed here? See, how much writing can help. I just came upon such a stunning realization.

Okay, so stunning realizations and musings aside, do you want to know WHAT has managed to keep me away from my love for such a long time, aside from the slothfulness (which can never ever go away, so I might as well stop trying)?

Well, even if you don't (though the fact that you're still reading this suggests otherwise), here's the answer-

Dancing!

*cue horrified gasps* (She dances, too?)

Yes sir. 

The last three weeks were without a doubt one of the best weeks of my entire life! (In fact, the only weeks that I can think of that have been better than these last few weeks, are the weeks that led up to my brother's wedding.) So anyway, I am sure most of you know Shiamak Davar, the pioneer choreographer, master of contemporary and modern dancing in India. He has this academy called Shiamak Davar Institute of Performing Arts, which organizes workshops and 'funks' all over the country, in an attempt to lure shy people like me to let go of their inhibitions and dance away (okay that's not exactly there only/official agenda, but that's what it means to me) And lure me they did. I joined the workshop this year and it was SUCH A BLAST. We had 18 classes of an hour each, every day, leading up to the final performances in front of a proper audience which comprised of one Master Marzi (yes, the one from Dance India Dance. Yes, the one who has such a hard time speaking Hindi.), various teachers and authorities of the school where the workshop was being held (We were the 'outsider's batch') and parents of all the people participating. 

My batch was all of 12 people, and we learned Rock n Roll/ Hip Hop on Battamiz Dil (I know I know! Common song but what can I do? We were all stuck on Ye Jawani Hai Deewani, and by the time we came to our senses, all the good ones had been taken up by the other batches.) and a little introduction into Jazz and Contemporary. I hated contemporary but I loooooooooooved jazz. 

And by 'looooooooove' I am reminded of one of the most major reasons why I am having such post-workshop blues..my dance instructor. Okay, not exactly MY dance instructor, since mine was this really sweet, perky and tiny girl called Ridhi. He was instructing some other (lucky) batch, but he came to our practice thrice, and during the course of those practices and the final rehearsals I absolutely, unconditionally and irrevocably fell in love with him. 

Okay not really, but you get what I mean right?

So one important lesson I have learned is that guys who can dance are SO HOT! :D

Honestly though, the workshop was so much fun, and I always had something to look forward to, and to keep me from having evenings like today where I fell asleep. IN THE EVENING. Just reiterating to drive home the horror. I miss the workshop to no end man! But well, it's been a week since and the blues are now almost-but-not-quite non-existent. But oh, I can't forget the first day after the workshop. I literally felt so so down that I couldn't believe it. I am SO going to be participating in all winter and summer funks they organize in the metros while I am in college.

Back to the present, while I did give a lot of time to what I love today, I also unwillingly had to give time to what I decidedly DON'T love anymore, which is Micro economics. Yeah, I have another annoying test coming up and it's made me hate Economics! Imagine, one of the few subjects that I actually liked. Thanks a lot, schoolvaalon. 

What I am reading currently (review to follow, hopefully) - It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzinni. 

My thoughts on Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher

I just finished this book (like thirty minutes ago, tops), and I wanted to, no, I needed to gather my thoughts on this one while they're still fresh. This is definitely the first book I've read EVER that I can't form a proper, clear, black and white opinion on. I can't say, all in all, I liked the book, or that I didn't like it, because I don't know. There is no all in all, there are too many shades.

Let's start from the beginning. First to give you a little background, here's the synopsis- 

Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker--his classmate and crush--who committed suicide two weeks earlier. On tape, Hannah explains that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he'll find out how he made the list. Through Hannah and Clay's dual narratives, debut author Jay Asher weaves an intricate and heartrending story of confusion and desperation that will deeply affect teen readers.

I was hooked on reading the book when I saw it on top of the 'Best Young Adult Fiction about Real Problems' list on Goodreads. Also, I will admit, that I had read all the other books on the Top 5, so I had to read the first one didn't I? 
So anyway, it was delivered to me yesterday and I started right away. I am done with it today. Now, when you get hooked on a book so bad that all you can do is read it, and when your mom forces you to study/eat/sleep/random chore, all you can do is think about it? You can't NOT like it, right? So I didn't cry at the end of the book, when I thought I would. But I kept wanting more more and more. I was mad at Hannah, and yet I felt so sorry for her at the same time.

Let me just say it, I have to get it out.
Her reasons for killing herself were JUST NOT ENOUGH. YOU DON'T KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE PEOPLE SPREAD RUMORS ABOUT YOU. YOU DON'T KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE SOMEONE PUTS YOU ON A STUPID LIST. YOU DO NOT KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE A FRIEND (not even a close one) BREAKS TIES WITH YOU.
Instead, you get hurt, take it in your stride, make new friends, move on. Focus your energy on something else. Everyone has to deal with all of this. It's part and parcel of the high school life. And if these things are building a reputation for you, isn't that better? In that way you eliminate the chance of becoming friends with people who are just not worth your time. Moreover, you find a few people who see through the bullshit and actually befriend you for YOU, in spite of the rumors or reputation or whatever. They know you for you, and they believe you, not some idiot who's got nothing to do but bitch about people.

Sure, towards the end of the book, there was some pretty dark stuff, stuff worthy enough of thinking about killing yourself, stuff that I can believe might lead some people to commit suicide. I think Hannah was raped, although I can't be sure. I mean, sure, what happened was Not Right, but can you really call it rape? Even if it wasn't consensual, it wasn't forced either. She just gave up. In fact, I think the reason she went there was because she WANTED to give up, and she needed a good reason. She admitted something to the same effect too, as far as I can remember. So that's one reason you can strike right off, because if she didn't willingly let the guy do it, in fact, if she didn't GO DOWN THERE AT ALL, when she knew she couldn't trust those people, she could have saved herself.
The other believable reason was when she let a girl get raped and didn't do anything about it, when she easily could have. Dude, it's Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince all over again! (The movie, not the book. I can never stress that enough. I mean, when the death eaters are pointing their wands at Dumbledore, Harry Potter, the real Harry Potter, would never stand there doing nothing. In the book, Dumbledore put a spell on him so he couldn't move. But in the movies? Oh well, too busy standing and making horror-struck faces to help my guide, my father figure, aren't I? Sorry for digressing.)

I have to admit that when I opened the book, I was so excited (yeah, I was excited about reading a book on why a girl killed herself, so sue me.) But with each passing cassette, my horror grew. Seriously, THIS is why she committed suicide? This is why she ended her LIFE?? Sure, I understand the snowball effect. One thing leads to another, everything affects everything and all that jazz, but isn't it a bit over-the-top and super dramatic, not to mention unnecessarily life-spoiling, for the people she blames? I still can't understand what exactly Courtney Crimsen did. So she was a fake person who just wanted everyone to like her. I ask, so what? Raise your hands if you know a person like that, have been hurt by a person like that.

Do not even get me started on poor Mr. Porter. What did the guy even do to deserve what he got? How was he supposed to know that he was the last chance a girl was betting on her life? How was he supposed to know that even after repeated attempts to stop her from going, he also had to walk out the door after her and compel her to come back and listen to him? How was he supposed to know that for that little indiscretion on his part (because it was. You're the guidance counselor. A student is contemplating suicide, and even mentions it, you have to go down on all fours and make sure s/he doesn't do it.) he would be forced to live the rest of his life in suffering, forever in the ocean of what-ifs..knowing he could somehow have altered her decision, saved her life? 
Readers will also remember that at the beginning Hannah says that Person 13 can take the tapes to hell? I mean, there's some serious animosity there. Why did she do that  to him? Didn't Bryce Walker deserve it? He fucking raped two girls. I swear when Mr. Porter's chapter was beginning, I was sure that he was going to make sexual advances towards her or something. I still don't understand WHY he's the unlucky thirteenth. He did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DESERVE THAT AGONY.

And yet....... I liked the book. I like what's going on (or what was going on, thanks to you, Hannah) between Clay and her. The anticipation building up to her first kiss, how hurt she feels when her first boyfriend betrays her and shatters all her magical dreams, that hurtful list she had to go through, which was not only offending, but also became the final straw to end her friendship with her one true friend in school, The Peeping Tom incident which grossed her out and made her feel unsafe, how guilty she feels when she cannot save a life when she could have, by easily calling the police, or how she could have saved that same friend from getting raped, how some jerk stole off her poem, where she explored some of her deepest emotions, which she herself hadn't managed to decipher, how she feels used because boys ask her out because they think they can get her laid, I get all of that.
I understand that she must have felt really hurt and betrayed, that she must have developed major trust issues which caused her to resist opening up to the perfect guy when she should have. Those things definitely must have scarred her.
Imagine yourself hiding in the closet while your ex-best friend gets raped. Imagine the torture you'd go through when you realize that you could have VERY easily stopped it but you didn't because...no reason. You don't even have a reason! Those things definitely did hurt. 
I won't start on Hannah herself getting raped, because I think she brought that on herself, by going into the tub with a known rapist, by not stopping him when he touched her, by letting him take advantage of a girl YET AGAIN.
So what I am saying is that, I couldn't stop reading the book, because I felt really sorry for Hannah, and got disappointed with each story, because everyone she stumbled into kept hurting her some way or the other.

But none, I repeat, NONE, of the reasons were worthy enough of killing herself. I say that with complete knowledge and recollection of the fact that she was raped, but this was the TWELFTH reason, this was after she had already made up her mind, and just wanted a reason to give up, and so she set herself up. So it doesn't count. 

All in all, I'll say that I think you should read the book, because as unbelievable as the reasons when you realize that they are what led to a girl killing herself, the stories are very real when you think of high school life. The author captures most emotions beautifully. The cruelty, the nasty rumors and how people react to them has been shown perfectly .If only Hannah had fought through and hadn't decided to give up.
Most of all, the book made me call a friend that I hadn't called up in a long while. We talk on WhatsApp, the friend calls me sometimes, and we meet in school, but this book made me call her, when I hadn't wanted to in a long, long time. Because suddenly, I realized that I continue to have a major impact in the lives of people around me, and especially those who are closest to me.
One sweet word here, another compliment there, really can lighten a sorry soul.

When you have to leave a book you REALLY love halfway..

It cuts you like a sharp, incisive knife. You feel blood oozing off of your body, while your mind is on all fours, trying to grasp the wonderful story, the beautiful characters as they run away, without even a backward glance, just laughing at how you will never ever know. The worst part is that you don't even realize they're gone before they're beyond hearing your tortured screams, asking them to come back, wanting to know those things that you missed, those events that the circumstances were building up to, that conclusion they were all supposed to reach....
Also, you realize that you really are as fucking careless as others deem you to be.

So here's my sad story- I was on my way to Delhi, to give my SATs ('how did your exam go?' I understand the reader must be asking him/herself. Well, to be very frank I don't really know. I mean, on an exam that gives you negative marks on wrong answers, you're supposed to practice abstinence. You're supposed to NOT guess- at least, not many questions. But that's exactly what I did, being the obsessive, idiotic answers-filler that I am (is that even a term? I don't know, but it definitely should be. And I'll be the paradigm, whose idiocy everyone will try to match. Not. Also, did I just introduce a bracket within a bracket? That's not some grammar folly is it?). I guessed my way through a lot many Error IDs and sentence completions. Now, I understand that the Princeton Review writers suggested that I should first use the Process of Elimination and if I can narrow down my choices, I must choose an answer because if it turns out to be right, I gain one, and if it turns out to be wrong, I lose a quarter. If you look at it from that perspective, it's ludicrous not to choose.  But then comes the sudden, horrific realization, when you're done with your paper, that you left ONLY TWO QUESTIONS BLANK. *not-cool-not-cool-not-cool* goes your heartbeat, but you can do nothing about it. And honestly, the test is so long and yet the time at hand so less that you end up with a long list of 'I should/shouldn't haves' at the end of your paper. Sadly, all I can do now, is wait and see if I am actually pretty lucky and smart, or really the obsessive, idiotic answers-filler.) I had to spend the night in the train, and you should know that I hate sleeping in trains at night. The perpetual palpitation and the faces (mostly legs, actually) of strangers sleeping (snoring) away near you are just not my idea of an idyllic place to sleep. So I always pack a novel to spend my nights with. This time I was supposed to be cramming last minute SAT words, and revising the tips, some math formulae and stuff like that. But I didn't. Instead, ignoring my mom's advice, I took 'Looking for Alaska' by John Green, a book I've been meaning to read since forever, and which was delivered at my doorstep four days before I was scheduled to leave (Somebody up there wanted me to read that book, trust you me. Sadly..somebody up there also wanted what happened next..) So there I was, devouring the nuances of Alaska (and the Colonel. Oh, I loved the Colonel). I reached the almost-going-to-fall-asleep stage by the time you-know-who you-know-what-ed (This is for the benefit of you, dear readers, who are crazy not to have read it by now). I was way too emotionally drained to continue so I fell asleep, I vividly remember, right after I kept the book safely inside my mother's purse (a large Baggit, which I always keep next to me in trains because I never sleep at night, so it's safe that way). I woke up minutes before the train was to reach Delhi, so I had no time to continue reading, also not when we were in the car, on our way to my brother's place which is almost a two-and-a-half hours drive from the station, as I fell asleep. Upon reaching, I was too busy with my brother and sister-in-law to even think about the book. Come night though, I suddenly remembered the poignant part where I'd left my beloved characters, in their unendurable agony. I rushed to them, trapped inside my mom's ginormous purse, but ALAS, they weren't there! The purse was devoid of my beautiful book. I couldn't believe it.. I KEPT IT THERE! I searched the entire house, obviously, but they were nowhere to be found..Alaska, The Colonel, Pudge.. where were they??! 
Of course, everyone refuses to believe that I actually kept the book. They think I left it in the train. Seriously? They don't know me. I can leave behind my iPod, I can leave behind a bomb, I can leave behind the fricking Kohinoor (that is, of course, if David Cameron agrees to return what is ours..) BUT I CANNOT LEAVE BEHIND A BOOK, A STORY I AM INVOLVED IN, CHARACTERS I AM IN LOVE WITH! I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T! (Trying to emulate Nina Dobrev from the Vampire Diaries. As much as I hate her guts for choosing Damon over Stefan, I have to agree that Elena does the 'I can't I can't I can't pretty good.)
Of course, I can never ever find out the end on Wikipedia, ever. 
So now I sit here, tortured, as the people at HomeShop18 keep sending me over incompetent message after the other, saying they're trying to get their hands on the book from here, and there, because they are out of stock! Why, oh WHY, are you doing this to me God? I hate reading PDF files on the computer..but if they can't retrieve it in a week, tops, I am gonna be reduced to that, I am sure.
I give it a week's time, because to occupy myself I have a rather great substitute called 'Gone Girl' by Gillian Flynn. I know, I know, it's the book everyone's talking about, the book people ask you to read just so they can discuss it with you, according to Independent, and I have to agree, so far, it's been a pretty intriguing read. I am assuming Amy is not REALLY dead but who knows? I've heard the conclusion is supposed to shatter you and make you wanna re-read the book for all the clues you missed. I am hoping the book does that for me too! 
A review coming your way soon, my readers..
Please pray for me..pray that my beautiful characters, trapped inside that one hell of a book, are returned to me, before I am done with Gone Girl..

Book Review- The Indigo Spell

In the aftermath of a forbidden moment that rocked Sydney to her core, she finds herself struggling to draw the line between her Alchemist teachings and what her heart is urging her to do. Then she meets alluring, rebellious Marcus Finch--a former Alchemist who escaped against all odds, and is now on the run. Marcus wants to teach Sydney the secrets he claims the Alchemists are hiding from her. But as he pushes her to rebel against the people who raised her, Sydney finds that breaking free is harder than she thought. There is an old and mysterious magic rooted deeply within her. And as she searches for an evil magic user targeting powerful young witches, she realizes that her only hope is to embrace her magical blood--or else she might be next.

Populated with new faces as well as familiar ones, the Bloodlines series explores all the friendship, romance, battles, and betrayals that made the #1 New York Times bestselling Vampire Academy series so addictive—this time in a part-vampire, part-human setting where the stakes are even higher and everyone’s out for blood.

ADRIAN IVASHKOV FANS, REJOICE! He's back. And how! Richelle Mead delivers, as always, a fast-paced, unputdownable wonderful gift to us. From the very beginning, the storyline pulls you in, because from the very first chapter a major plot is introduced to keep you hooked to your seats. The novel is structured just right, with enough human emotions in an arrary of dhampirs and Moroi and of course Alchemists to keep it real and at the same time with enough supernatural stuff to make it surreal.

The Adrian Ivashkov-Sydney Sage, more aptly called Sydrian angle of the book is positively on fire! Their heat is undeniable as always, and I am sure readers won't be disappointed this time around with the lack of romance. One thing I love about Richelle Mead is that she never dives head first into a romance. She writes realistic stories (even if it is about vampires), where people don't fall in love or have 'romantic tension' from the very beginning, and how they actually get to know each other before realizing they feel something for the other person. On the downside however, we are left pining and whining for our favorite characters to 'hook up already' and dear readers, your dreams are on the verge of coming true, all you have to do is pick up the novel and find out for yourself! 

There's considerable character development of the other leads, namely Jill, Eddie and Angeline. Also, the enigmatic Marcus Finch doesn't dissapoint.

Another wonderful thing about the book was that I got no time to relax, and not for a single second was I comfortable with keeping the book down to read the next day. The plot is forever moving, one thing happens after the other, and there are two major plotlines which makes it all the more intriguing.

One more awesome thing about the novel is that you get a glimpse of familiar characters from the Vampire Academy series!

I can't say more or else I'll be spilling secrets out before you or I know it. 

I give it four stars. Everyone looking for an addictive book with characters that suck you in, it is the book.

Stuff about College. And TV.

So I've spent the last two hours on the Internet, researching one university after the other, checking out how to write good college essays, what's a good SAT score, how to chose the type of financial aid you want, when to apply etc etc.

It's productive right?

Not when you've been doing it for the past month.

That's right, all I've done this past month with any free time I find is visit colleges websites (since sadly, I cannot visit the colleges in person) and read useless articles on the web on how to get into Ivy Leagues. Now, I have already made an account on the Common Application and I have pretty much narrowed down my choices, so what I COULD have been doing is actually sitting down to write down my college essays (and they are a lot, trust you me.) Or, I could have solves the seventeen SAT practice papers I have at my disposal even as I write this. But I am stuck in a rut. 

I have come to the conclusion that the thrill of imagining my future college life has gotten to me, so bad that I am doing no actual work! All I do is daydream and get confused by one college after the other, which I can prove with the fact that until just yesterday I kept thinking Princeton is THE college for me, my dream college, the only place I can find total satisfaction but today I am not so sure. I think I like Dartmouth more. Not to mention there's still Brown! And CORNELL! It's no joke to be confused about these colleges because the application fee doesn't make you laugh. 5000 bucks per application is NOT cheap. And that's even more expensive when your parents are already against your decision of applying abroad. But oh well, I guess I am gonna have to fight all these obstacles. Maybe this can be my answer to the obstacle questions on the applications! I sure as hell am not gonna ask my mother, cause I am too scared she may pull a Claire Dunphy on me (remember when Haley is freaking out about what to write on her application and blames Claire for giving her too comfortable a childhood? The awesome mother that Claire is, she drives Haley to a stranded foresty-place and leaves her there, to find her way back, without a cell phone!!!!!!!!!)

Also, with every passing day, the SAT keeps getting closer and closer, and I can't help but feel wrapped in fear. Now I know the SAT isn't difficult at all. In fact, it's easier than any test I've had to give in my junior year. But it counts a lot, lot more. So there's pressure, and I hate dealing with that. I keep freaking out that what if I can't complete the sections in time, spend too much time on a particular hard question, blank out on the last minute? It's just a matter of time before these vivid negative thoughts transform into unwanted horrific nightmares. Not to mention there's still the SAT Subject Math 1 to prepare for. I hate Math with every existing fiber of my being, yet I have no other option (Physics? Biology? Chemistry? NO CAN DO. US History? Haven't studied it ever. World History? Interesting, I could have given this paper if I didn't already have an ever-mounting workload in senior year. Since I am already studying Math (though the senior year Math is sadly a lot more advanced than SAT subject Math 1), it's a viable option. Oh and just so you know, the other Subject test I am giving is Literature! My eternal love, my knight in shining armour, my silver lining in the dark clouds, LITERATURE!)

Wow, writing it all down makes me realize how stupid my fears really are, BUT I am not gonna let this realization plant an illusion in my mind that the since they are so unfounded they are gonna go away. In fact I know there's gonna be back, blazingly and brazenly on test day. God knows what I'll do that. Maybe knowing that my brother is around will help? I sure hope so.

On the bright side of it, I AM GOING TO DELHI SOON!!!!!!! One month to be exact. I cannot wait. I love Delhi so so much. The brilliant food, the intimidating yet welcoming crowd, the vibrant feel, the street fairs, and the intoxicating vibe of the place. I love Delhi almost as much as I love Anuppur which is saying something because I die to go to Anuppur all the time. It's this small town in the state of Madhya Pradesh which is heaven on earth according to me. Anuppur I mean, not MP. There's greenery everywhere, no blatant urbanization yet all facilities you could ask for.

I can't wait to shop till I drop! Summers are here, which means I need to stock up on shorts and dresses! I am already so excited! Plus, my sister-in-law has promised to take me to this amazing bakery where she is sure I will find eternal peace and discover the meaning of life. Never one to exaggerate as you can obviously make out, I am dying to go!

Another thing I am dying to do right now? Watch the New Girl season finale! Even the fact that Taylor Swift is probably gonna make a bitchy appearance can't abridge my excitement. Will CeCe really get married? Will Jess and Nick make it as a couple to Season 3? And where's Winston's life headed? At one point he had it all together. He had his perfect beautiful girlfriend and a fabulous job. I still don't understand why he broke up with her. That story was definitely a weak point of the show. They were so in love, and then suddenly they weren't having sex, and the next thing you know they're breaking up in Halloween costumes? WHY, I ask. I really liked that girl. But Brenda Song definitely makes up for her. I've loved her since her London days (Tipton, not the city, as every die hard Disney fan would know) and she looks so fresh and really NEW on the show (appropriately named New Girl) Oh well, I'd love her to make a lot more appearances. Poor Winston though. Nick and Jess are regulars, so are Schmidt and CeCe, but his love interests always show up just once in a while. When's he getting a stable partner?! New Girl producers, hear me out! 

Also, I think I may be heading towards an unhealthy Modern Family obsession. I mean it. I am positively addicted to this hell of a series. I almost think of these weirdos as my family now! Thankfully I am still on Season 3, though I am halfway through, so I can watch as many episodes as I like in one go and stop when I've had enough. But I shudder to think what will happen when I finally make it to the current episodes. I'll have to wait for a week (several weeks during hiatuses) for a fresh episode. Oh my god I WILL DIE WITHOUT MY DAILY DOSE OF TY BURRELL'S AWESOMENESS! Wow, I am so dead. First New Girl, now Modern Family. What next? I think I should only watch shows that have already ended. NO NO NO NO NO NO ! That would mean after-show feelings like Friends! The utter sadness and crashing hopelessness when I realized I would never, EVER watch another new episode of the genius that Friends was, oh my god that was unbearable. 

I think I should just swear off of TV series, forever. Just after I am done with Modern Famly. And The Vampire Dairies. And Pretty Little Lairs. And New Girl. And Homeland. And The Big Bang Theory. And The Mindy Project. Annnnnd the list goes on..... ;)

A bittersweet day

Today was (and continues to be) a monumental day in many (okay, two) ways. To start with, today was the last day I went to the women's shelter, for a while at the least. I hadn't really anticipated how hard it would be to leave those girls, but that just intensified the sense of sadness I felt when I left through the iron gates. All the girls I talked to and/or taught were assembled near the garden and waving away and I felt really BAD that I wouldn't be coming back the next day!
Well, everything happens for a reason, every cloud has a silver lining and all that jazz, because today those girls actually studied! They knew my friends and I weren't coming back, so they put in more effort, asked so many questions, and actually learned and grasped whatever we explained to them fairly quickly. (On a side note, for anyone who wants to teach English at any given point, spellings are hard. Pronunciation is even harder. I was as annoyed as I could be, trying to teach them how to pronounce 'sh' as 'sh' and not 's'. I finally found a way by first asking them to make snakelike hissing noises, and then saying 'shhhh', like when you want someone to stop talking. That worked amazingly!) By the end of it we were all hugging and exchanging numbers. Well, you can't really call it exchanging cause it was just one sided. My friends and I gave them our numbers, so they can freely contact us whenever they want! We are gonna try really hard to take out some time for them before the summers though, cause it seems too far away.
Which brings me to the second reason for the day being monumental. The reason we have to stop going to the shelter is because SENIOR YEAR STARTS TOMORROW! Oh my god I am absolutely freaking out. I am going to enter the final year of my school life tomorrow, and if last year has been any sort of indication, it's gonna swiftly pass me by before I even know it! And pretty soon I am gonna be sitting for my SATs, and then IELTS, then Subject tests, then I'll be filling out a gazillion forms and writing even more essays! And then if I am not selected anywhere in the US/UK (always the optimist), I am gonna have to start the application process for Indian colleges and oh, how can I forget? I WILL BE GIVING BOARD EXAMINATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

*Tries to calm down but fails miserably* How can I be calm when one year from now, I am gonna be thinking about colleges and no longer have the option to go to school, EVER. (Sure, I can go for visits and reunions..uh, you know what I mean right?) It's so ironic that when I was little, my cousins and thought the best way to spend time was to make a movie and enact super awesome characters (who am I kidding? It IS the best way to spend time, seriously.) and I ALWAYS played Katie, who could walk through walls in Justice League, and I used to beg them to let my character be in 12th grade, because somehow I thought the coolest place to be for a person was senior year of high school. I squealed 'I'll be a senior! I'll be eighteen years old' and now that I am seventeen going on eighteen, I wanna go back to kindergarten! Thinking about colleges, what you wanna do with yourself, the idea of not being one yelling room away from your mother (MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM. I love you.), it's all super surreal. That's not even the weird part though. The weird part is that I am also super duper excited to be in this place! I feel really cool inside that I am gonna be senior from tomorrow. The only thing that's holding me back from fully enjoying the vibe of being a senior is the fact that my math tutor told me that almost half the math this year will be trigonometry. ALMOST HALF! How freaking unfair. I can promptly kiss all Ivy League colleges goodbye, because I can't think of a reason Princeton will select an applicant who failed Math.

Nor can I think of a reason why Delhi University, St. Xaviers, Loyola or any other college will accept me. So basically my life is screwed. 

Like I said, always the optimist. 

So I guess what I am saying is that I am experiencing conflicting emotions! On one side I am insanely excited at the thought of being in senior year, having college admission tests to prepare for, and just dreaming of a wonderful world out there, but on the other hand I am also VERY uncomfortable kissing my familiar world goodbye. I guess I am getting extreme, I still have an year to go before I really have to leave my hometown, but still I feel weird that tomorrow will be the beginning of the end of my school life. That's gotta have a place in the list of things that can make a person freak out, right? RIGHT?

Song I am addicted to right now- Mera Mann Kehne Laga -Falak Shabir, Nautanki Saala (Ayushmaan. Nuff said.)

Movie worth watching- The Dictator. All I can say is this- ABSOFUCKINLUTELY HILARIOUS AND DISGUSTING!

Laters, baby (That's about the ONLY thing you got right, E.L. James and since you copied an entire book and destroyed it even more with porn *who would have thought someone could make Twilight worse? I say that at the risk of sounding like an absolute hypocrite because I was going through my earlier blog posts and I came across one where I swooned over Edward Cullen and gushed how Twilight HAD to be read by everyone. Yeah, you can totally shoot me guys*, I am justified in using a phrase from your book, as many times as I want right? Yeah, that's what I thought.)

So Random

I feel I am still not over my blogger block, because I am having such a hard time coming up with titles. Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I have nothing concrete to write about right now. The most exciting thing that happened to me today was that I discovered this brilliant online shopping site called ASOS. It has great brands, great designs, great outfits and ships worldwide free of cost! The best thing is that there's this bar at the extreme left of the screen which lets you decide the color, sleeve-length, knee-length, design, price range and what not. Now I know that many online outlets have that, but it's a bit more detailed, and has greater stock so the bar actually has a point. (I remember once I selected three-quarter sleeve-length and color black, and all the website came up with was two tops, and none of them were even good. Honestly, is that what your database should be like? What I am saying is, ASOS is awesome. Another good feature is that they have a section called ASOS curve, which has a wide and wonderful selection of clothes for girls who aren't petite (cheer up petite girls! There's a petite section too. And just in case you're wondering, nay, I am not fat, I am curvy. I do know that's what most fat girls say..) Without further ado, here's a link for the lazy bums who can't put in the effort of Googling ASOS.
Discovering ASOS also led me to commit a despicable deed i.e. cancelling on a friend who came back to town today! I know I know, I am a horrible person. We were supposed to meet in the afternoon, so I innocuously decided to surf a little (not the waves, obviously) and since I have a party to attend the next week, I thought I'd look for some good dresses, and that landed me in the magical world of ASOS. After that, I kinda (read totally) forgot about the plan, and since the said friend didn't call me up to ask where the heck I was, my afternoon was spent checking out clothes. Yes, my entire afternoon. Anyway, just when I decided I'd had enough, my father called me to watch some news segment on the Mahashivratri (Happy Mahashivratri, you awesome readers!). Now, this entire time there was this teeny tiny voice inside my head saying 'call your friend, call your friend, call your friend' but like the supreme sloth that I am, I ignored it, and thus subjected myself to the wrath of my friend (I don't exaggerate much, just so you know.) We've decided to meet after dinner now, since we live in the same apartment. Let's just hope nothing comes in the way, because contrary to my procrastinating actions, I really do wanna meet her!

In case readers of earlier posts are wondering, my friends have come around! Even better, three of my friends and I have started going to this shelter for women, called Nari Niketan, where women find themselves when they have no place else to go, or when the underage ones elope (which they aptly described to us as 'love case' very proudly, I must add.) It has been a great experience so far! I have a grand time with them! When we went there for the first time, it was very awkward initially, as all we did was say 'Namaste' in greeting to everyone and they smiled, waved, and the bold ones shook hands in return. We had decided to go with the intention of teaching them some elementary English, but how do you say 'Dude, I am here to teach you, come to the classroom' to someone who's mighty older in age and experience, and has suffered so much? We couldn't, so we ended up just talking to them. Like it happens in most cases, both parties became less awkward and more friendly, and we ended up having a blast! For me it has been such an eye-opener cause even in the few days that I've been there, all my problems have started seeming very petty. The other day I had a pimple (if you know me, you know that I freak out when I get pimples because I suffered from a bad case of acne a few years ago) and just when I should have freaked out, I realized that it's just a stupid pimple that will go away. Stupid analogy, I know, but effective nevertheless. I have to admit that my intentions hadn't been hundred percent philanthropic when I decided to render my services here, but I have to agree that whatever the reasons, I am glad to be doing this. The stories I have to hear are such that I couldn't hear anywhere else. Also, aren't you who you are because of your experiences? This is a whole new experience. The only drawback is having to get up in the morning, OH MY GOD I HATE THAT! Only the mental picture of their beautiful faces that light up on seeing us is the thing that forces me to get my ass off of my beautiful bed. Everyone who has nothing to do? Give one hour to the needy everyday, you'll feel awesome. If not for them, do it for yourself. Take it from the laziest person in the world, it's worth it. 

I spend two hours in the morning there everyday, so what else do I do, you're wondering? Modern Family of course! I've reached Season 2 and the show keeps getting better! All the other shows I was planning to watch are still on hold because MF is just that awesome. Also, I am still reading A Passage to India which has become kinda boring. 
YEAH! SUE ME! I know it's supposed to be a wonderful book, it's has a place in the Top 100 is some Modern Literature list, but it just doesn't do it for me! Sure, I loved it when I started reading it. It's just towards the end of Part 2- Caves that it has become a tad bit boring. Maybe it's just become too depressing or something? I don't know, I just hate the books that don't have happy endings. I do know that it's those exact books that become famous, though. I will have to drag myself through Part 3, and fast, because I got my delivery of The Indigo Spell today and I CANNOT EFFING WAIT TO READ IT! I am a die-hard Vampire Academy fan, and the chemistry between Adrian and Sydney? Epic. Marcus Flinch curiosity? AT IT'S PEAK. Adrian's hotness level? Ever-soaring. If not for my (annoying) need of never leaving a book half-way, I would have finished The Indigo Spell already. Oh well, wait a few more hours, you precious little wondrous book. 
I will take your leave now, Blogger, and finish a class and start a YA! 

Laters, baby.
(I admit, embarrassingly enough, I have read Fifty Shades of Grey. Yes, my faith in humanity has suffered a blow. A HUGE blow. Why people of the planet, why in the bloody hell?)

What I do when finals are over and my friends are being a pain in the butt

I've been having a pretty non-epic time since my finals ended because

• All of my friends have gone MIA. Do you wonder how weird it is that during exams, everyone is like 'Wait till exams are over. We'll do so-and so, this-and-that, blah blah' but once you're done with exams for reals, all everyone can think about is sleeping and watching TV.
• I now realize that bullets aren't really appropriate here because the aforementioned reason is the only reason I am not out having a party right now

So because I've been left to my own devices, thanks to my sweet sweet friends (okay FINE, I am giving them a really hard time. It's not entirely their faults if their moms have suddenly gone crazy, or their family planned spontaneous trips. But dyyyyyuuuude, why am I the only one stuck at home?) 

So being stuck at home CAN have a few advantages, as I've learned so far and I am sharing just a few:

1. They make some pretty awesome TV shows. Exhibit A- New Girl- An elementary school teacher has to move in with three guys after her dick of a boyfriend cheats on her. (Not apologizing for the language, the guy is a huge dick.) But everything happens for a reason because they form a pretty awesome dysfunctional family along with her best friend, CeCe. I AM SO ADDICTED TO THIS SHOW RIGHT NOW. Believe me, I've watched two seasons in a week (I started watching in the last week of my finals) I kept adjusting my study schedule as I kept getting more and more addicted with each passing episode. (What? I've done that chapter three times already. It will probably take like twenty minutes of revision. I can watch one more episode....you know the drill.) Exhibit B- Modern Family. The show has it all. High school drama, elementary school drama and a gay couple with a hella cute Chinese baby (Vietnamese, if you please)! What more does a TV series need? I'll tell you. Ty Burrell. Lo and behold! They have him too. The humorous spin on daily life incidents is to die for, and I suggest everyone should watch Modern Family, it has bits for everyone! Of course, weekly dosages of Pretty Little Liars, How I Met Your Mother and The Vampire Diaries manage to keep me pretty occupied too. 
2. READ! Do not say you don't read because dude, that's just another way of saying you're stupid. I am reading A Passage to India by E.M. Forster right now. It's set in the period of British Raj and manages to showcase all the conflicts and prejudices existing between the natives and the colonizers with the help of That Marabar Case. I am still not through it, so I will save all my major opinions till the end, but one thing I have to admit is that I do not like Miss Quested. Girl, trying too hard? She's pretty annoying, more annoying that Lavender Brown in Harry Potter, which is saying something (Seriously, how blind do you have to be to not see those sparks between Hermoine and Ron? Wait, that's beside the point..) I also have a Books-to-read-in-the-break, obviously. The list goes- 

• Looking for Alaska- John Green
• The Queen's Fool- Phillipa Gregory
• Thirteen Reasons Why- Jay Asher
• Are you there God? It's me, Margaret- Judy Blume
• The Indigo Spell- Richelle Mead
• To Kill a Mockingbird- Harper Lee (I know I know, I am embarrassed that I still haven't read it)
• Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs- Chuck Klosterman

Okay I've tried pretty hard to manage both of these bullets (the dots and the numericals) but it refuses to work! I guess Blogger is trying to take revenge on my for my prolonged absence. Well played, but you can also take the high road, you know that right?

Right?

I guess you don't. 

So more random stuff to do can be going to websites like HollywoodLife and Sugarscape. These are websites where people have devoted their entire lives to stalking celebrities and publishing news a certain screaming section of teenagers is sadly really interested in. Now, when I hate it so much, why do I suggest it? Because it's hilarious! The 'BREAKING NEWS' and the comments are so damn funny. How personally people take these things, it's entertaining. Yeah, I've stooped that low in my bubble of boredom. Also, in the process you get to stalk Niall Horan, and really who can say no to that? He's the cutest guy alive on the planet, with that hair and those eyes and that smile and that VOICE!

You can also make a blogger profile and record your worthless interests people aren't remotely interested in, because that can be strangely satisfying! (You see what I did there? That just ruined the whole doing it.)

I do realize..

..that it has been ages since I was last here. Ages is in fact tantamount to more than a year. Yeah, that's really embarrassing. My last post was in November of 2011, and today is 4th March 2013.

What's even more embarrassing, you ask?
It's the fact that boredom brought me here. My last final of 11th grade was the day before yesterday, and like most days immediately after exams, I have nothing to do. I guess my mind takes a little time to adjust to the fact that there's no more mugging to do, no more deadlines to meet, no more late-night notes, no more stealthy Facebook logins. It is free to do whatever it likes, and it bloody loves it and so it embraces the fact hesitantly, just in case hopes don't come crashing down.
Also, my friends have totally let me down and have forced me to stay at home, so that's a big contributing factor of the I-have-nothing-to-do phase.

I have to admit this I have to start anew (and I have to.)
The last year wasn't really crazy busy. I entered 11th grade, the second last year of high school, and of course it was a little more demanding than 10th grade ever was, but did that not give me one minute to blog a little? The answer to that is sadly not what I'd like it to be. 
I spent many days lazing around, doing absolutely nothing. I remember one day vividly when I got up, ate, slept again and woke up the next day. I wasn't even that tired. Looking back, I don't even know why I remember this day! So the point I am trying to make is that I haven't written anything really, in more than a year (no posts, no short stories, no journals, no nothing. Of course if you count filthy long e-mails, that's another story.)
Only now I am realizing how much I've missed blogging.
I am very aware of the fact that my last post was very much like this one, where I cribbed about how much I'd missed blogging and how busy I'd been and how I was gonna start again and I guess we all know how that turned out.
So this is just a short post of apology and hopes to start again. :)