So I've spent the last two hours on the Internet, researching one university after the other, checking out how to write good college essays, what's a good SAT score, how to chose the type of financial aid you want, when to apply etc etc.
It's productive right?
Not when you've been doing it for the past month.
That's right, all I've done this past month with any free time I find is visit colleges websites (since sadly, I cannot visit the colleges in person) and read useless articles on the web on how to get into Ivy Leagues. Now, I have already made an account on the Common Application and I have pretty much narrowed down my choices, so what I COULD have been doing is actually sitting down to write down my college essays (and they are a lot, trust you me.) Or, I could have solves the seventeen SAT practice papers I have at my disposal even as I write this. But I am stuck in a rut.
I have come to the conclusion that the thrill of imagining my future college life has gotten to me, so bad that I am doing no actual work! All I do is daydream and get confused by one college after the other, which I can prove with the fact that until just yesterday I kept thinking Princeton is THE college for me, my dream college, the only place I can find total satisfaction but today I am not so sure. I think I like Dartmouth more. Not to mention there's still Brown! And CORNELL! It's no joke to be confused about these colleges because the application fee doesn't make you laugh. 5000 bucks per application is NOT cheap. And that's even more expensive when your parents are already against your decision of applying abroad. But oh well, I guess I am gonna have to fight all these obstacles. Maybe this can be my answer to the obstacle questions on the applications! I sure as hell am not gonna ask my mother, cause I am too scared she may pull a Claire Dunphy on me (remember when Haley is freaking out about what to write on her application and blames Claire for giving her too comfortable a childhood? The awesome mother that Claire is, she drives Haley to a stranded foresty-place and leaves her there, to find her way back, without a cell phone!!!!!!!!!)
Also, with every passing day, the SAT keeps getting closer and closer, and I can't help but feel wrapped in fear. Now I know the SAT isn't difficult at all. In fact, it's easier than any test I've had to give in my junior year. But it counts a lot, lot more. So there's pressure, and I hate dealing with that. I keep freaking out that what if I can't complete the sections in time, spend too much time on a particular hard question, blank out on the last minute? It's just a matter of time before these vivid negative thoughts transform into unwanted horrific nightmares. Not to mention there's still the SAT Subject Math 1 to prepare for. I hate Math with every existing fiber of my being, yet I have no other option (Physics? Biology? Chemistry? NO CAN DO. US History? Haven't studied it ever. World History? Interesting, I could have given this paper if I didn't already have an ever-mounting workload in senior year. Since I am already studying Math (though the senior year Math is sadly a lot more advanced than SAT subject Math 1), it's a viable option. Oh and just so you know, the other Subject test I am giving is Literature! My eternal love, my knight in shining armour, my silver lining in the dark clouds, LITERATURE!)
Wow, writing it all down makes me realize how stupid my fears really are, BUT I am not gonna let this realization plant an illusion in my mind that the since they are so unfounded they are gonna go away. In fact I know there's gonna be back, blazingly and brazenly on test day. God knows what I'll do that. Maybe knowing that my brother is around will help? I sure hope so.
On the bright side of it, I AM GOING TO DELHI SOON!!!!!!! One month to be exact. I cannot wait. I love Delhi so so much. The brilliant food, the intimidating yet welcoming crowd, the vibrant feel, the street fairs, and the intoxicating vibe of the place. I love Delhi almost as much as I love Anuppur which is saying something because I die to go to Anuppur all the time. It's this small town in the state of Madhya Pradesh which is heaven on earth according to me. Anuppur I mean, not MP. There's greenery everywhere, no blatant urbanization yet all facilities you could ask for.
I can't wait to shop till I drop! Summers are here, which means I need to stock up on shorts and dresses! I am already so excited! Plus, my sister-in-law has promised to take me to this amazing bakery where she is sure I will find eternal peace and discover the meaning of life. Never one to exaggerate as you can obviously make out, I am dying to go!
Another thing I am dying to do right now? Watch the New Girl season finale! Even the fact that Taylor Swift is probably gonna make a bitchy appearance can't abridge my excitement. Will CeCe really get married? Will Jess and Nick make it as a couple to Season 3? And where's Winston's life headed? At one point he had it all together. He had his perfect beautiful girlfriend and a fabulous job. I still don't understand why he broke up with her. That story was definitely a weak point of the show. They were so in love, and then suddenly they weren't having sex, and the next thing you know they're breaking up in Halloween costumes? WHY, I ask. I really liked that girl. But Brenda Song definitely makes up for her. I've loved her since her London days (Tipton, not the city, as every die hard Disney fan would know) and she looks so fresh and really NEW on the show (appropriately named New Girl) Oh well, I'd love her to make a lot more appearances. Poor Winston though. Nick and Jess are regulars, so are Schmidt and CeCe, but his love interests always show up just once in a while. When's he getting a stable partner?! New Girl producers, hear me out!
Also, I think I may be heading towards an unhealthy Modern Family obsession. I mean it. I am positively addicted to this hell of a series. I almost think of these weirdos as my family now! Thankfully I am still on Season 3, though I am halfway through, so I can watch as many episodes as I like in one go and stop when I've had enough. But I shudder to think what will happen when I finally make it to the current episodes. I'll have to wait for a week (several weeks during hiatuses) for a fresh episode. Oh my god I WILL DIE WITHOUT MY DAILY DOSE OF TY BURRELL'S AWESOMENESS! Wow, I am so dead. First New Girl, now Modern Family. What next? I think I should only watch shows that have already ended. NO NO NO NO NO NO ! That would mean after-show feelings like Friends! The utter sadness and crashing hopelessness when I realized I would never, EVER watch another new episode of the genius that Friends was, oh my god that was unbearable.
I think I should just swear off of TV series, forever. Just after I am done with Modern Famly. And The Vampire Dairies. And Pretty Little Lairs. And New Girl. And Homeland. And The Big Bang Theory. And The Mindy Project. Annnnnd the list goes on..... ;)
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