I just finished this book (like thirty minutes ago, tops), and I wanted to, no, I needed to gather my thoughts on this one while they're still fresh. This is definitely the first book I've read EVER that I can't form a proper, clear, black and white opinion on. I can't say, all in all, I liked the book, or that I didn't like it, because I don't know. There is no all in all, there are too many shades.
So anyway, it was delivered to me yesterday and I started right away. I am done with it today. Now, when you get hooked on a book so bad that all you can do is read it, and when your mom forces you to study/eat/sleep/random chore, all you can do is think about it? You can't NOT like it, right? So I didn't cry at the end of the book, when I thought I would. But I kept wanting more more and more. I was mad at Hannah, and yet I felt so sorry for her at the same time.
Let me just say it, I have to get it out.
Her reasons for killing herself were JUST NOT ENOUGH. YOU DON'T KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE PEOPLE SPREAD RUMORS ABOUT YOU. YOU DON'T KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE SOMEONE PUTS YOU ON A STUPID LIST. YOU DO NOT KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE A FRIEND (not even a close one) BREAKS TIES WITH YOU.
Instead, you get hurt, take it in your stride, make new friends, move on. Focus your energy on something else. Everyone has to deal with all of this. It's part and parcel of the high school life. And if these things are building a reputation for you, isn't that better? In that way you eliminate the chance of becoming friends with people who are just not worth your time. Moreover, you find a few people who see through the bullshit and actually befriend you for YOU, in spite of the rumors or reputation or whatever. They know you for you, and they believe you, not some idiot who's got nothing to do but bitch about people.
Sure, towards the end of the book, there was some pretty dark stuff, stuff worthy enough of thinking about killing yourself, stuff that I can believe might lead some people to commit suicide. I think Hannah was raped, although I can't be sure. I mean, sure, what happened was Not Right, but can you really call it rape? Even if it wasn't consensual, it wasn't forced either. She just gave up. In fact, I think the reason she went there was because she WANTED to give up, and she needed a good reason. She admitted something to the same effect too, as far as I can remember. So that's one reason you can strike right off, because if she didn't willingly let the guy do it, in fact, if she didn't GO DOWN THERE AT ALL, when she knew she couldn't trust those people, she could have saved herself.
The other believable reason was when she let a girl get raped and didn't do anything about it, when she easily could have. Dude, it's Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince all over again! (The movie, not the book. I can never stress that enough. I mean, when the death eaters are pointing their wands at Dumbledore, Harry Potter, the real Harry Potter, would never stand there doing nothing. In the book, Dumbledore put a spell on him so he couldn't move. But in the movies? Oh well, too busy standing and making horror-struck faces to help my guide, my father figure, aren't I? Sorry for digressing.)
I have to admit that when I opened the book, I was so excited (yeah, I was excited about reading a book on why a girl killed herself, so sue me.) But with each passing cassette, my horror grew. Seriously, THIS is why she committed suicide? This is why she ended her LIFE?? Sure, I understand the snowball effect. One thing leads to another, everything affects everything and all that jazz, but isn't it a bit over-the-top and super dramatic, not to mention unnecessarily life-spoiling, for the people she blames? I still can't understand what exactly Courtney Crimsen did. So she was a fake person who just wanted everyone to like her. I ask, so what? Raise your hands if you know a person like that, have been hurt by a person like that.
Do not even get me started on poor Mr. Porter. What did the guy even do to deserve what he got? How was he supposed to know that he was the last chance a girl was betting on her life? How was he supposed to know that even after repeated attempts to stop her from going, he also had to walk out the door after her and compel her to come back and listen to him? How was he supposed to know that for that little indiscretion on his part (because it was. You're the guidance counselor. A student is contemplating suicide, and even mentions it, you have to go down on all fours and make sure s/he doesn't do it.) he would be forced to live the rest of his life in suffering, forever in the ocean of what-ifs..knowing he could somehow have altered her decision, saved her life?
Readers will also remember that at the beginning Hannah says that Person 13 can take the tapes to hell? I mean, there's some serious animosity there. Why did she do that to him? Didn't Bryce Walker deserve it? He fucking raped two girls. I swear when Mr. Porter's chapter was beginning, I was sure that he was going to make sexual advances towards her or something. I still don't understand WHY he's the unlucky thirteenth. He did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DESERVE THAT AGONY.
And yet....... I liked the book. I like what's going on (or what was going on, thanks to you, Hannah) between Clay and her. The anticipation building up to her first kiss, how hurt she feels when her first boyfriend betrays her and shatters all her magical dreams, that hurtful list she had to go through, which was not only offending, but also became the final straw to end her friendship with her one true friend in school, The Peeping Tom incident which grossed her out and made her feel unsafe, how guilty she feels when she cannot save a life when she could have, by easily calling the police, or how she could have saved that same friend from getting raped, how some jerk stole off her poem, where she explored some of her deepest emotions, which she herself hadn't managed to decipher, how she feels used because boys ask her out because they think they can get her laid, I get all of that.
I understand that she must have felt really hurt and betrayed, that she must have developed major trust issues which caused her to resist opening up to the perfect guy when she should have. Those things definitely must have scarred her.
Imagine yourself hiding in the closet while your ex-best friend gets raped. Imagine the torture you'd go through when you realize that you could have VERY easily stopped it but you didn't because...no reason. You don't even have a reason! Those things definitely did hurt.
I won't start on Hannah herself getting raped, because I think she brought that on herself, by going into the tub with a known rapist, by not stopping him when he touched her, by letting him take advantage of a girl YET AGAIN.
So what I am saying is that, I couldn't stop reading the book, because I felt really sorry for Hannah, and got disappointed with each story, because everyone she stumbled into kept hurting her some way or the other.
But none, I repeat, NONE, of the reasons were worthy enough of killing herself. I say that with complete knowledge and recollection of the fact that she was raped, but this was the TWELFTH reason, this was after she had already made up her mind, and just wanted a reason to give up, and so she set herself up. So it doesn't count.
All in all, I'll say that I think you should read the book, because as unbelievable as the reasons when you realize that they are what led to a girl killing herself, the stories are very real when you think of high school life. The author captures most emotions beautifully. The cruelty, the nasty rumors and how people react to them has been shown perfectly .If only Hannah had fought through and hadn't decided to give up.
Most of all, the book made me call a friend that I hadn't called up in a long while. We talk on WhatsApp, the friend calls me sometimes, and we meet in school, but this book made me call her, when I hadn't wanted to in a long, long time. Because suddenly, I realized that I continue to have a major impact in the lives of people around me, and especially those who are closest to me.
One sweet word here, another compliment there, really can lighten a sorry soul.
Let's start from the beginning. First to give you a little background, here's the synopsis-
Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker--his classmate and crush--who committed suicide two weeks earlier. On tape, Hannah explains that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he'll find out how he made the list. Through Hannah and Clay's dual narratives, debut author Jay Asher weaves an intricate and heartrending story of confusion and desperation that will deeply affect teen readers.I was hooked on reading the book when I saw it on top of the 'Best Young Adult Fiction about Real Problems' list on Goodreads. Also, I will admit, that I had read all the other books on the Top 5, so I had to read the first one didn't I?
So anyway, it was delivered to me yesterday and I started right away. I am done with it today. Now, when you get hooked on a book so bad that all you can do is read it, and when your mom forces you to study/eat/sleep/random chore, all you can do is think about it? You can't NOT like it, right? So I didn't cry at the end of the book, when I thought I would. But I kept wanting more more and more. I was mad at Hannah, and yet I felt so sorry for her at the same time.
Let me just say it, I have to get it out.
Her reasons for killing herself were JUST NOT ENOUGH. YOU DON'T KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE PEOPLE SPREAD RUMORS ABOUT YOU. YOU DON'T KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE SOMEONE PUTS YOU ON A STUPID LIST. YOU DO NOT KILL YOURSELF BECAUSE A FRIEND (not even a close one) BREAKS TIES WITH YOU.
Instead, you get hurt, take it in your stride, make new friends, move on. Focus your energy on something else. Everyone has to deal with all of this. It's part and parcel of the high school life. And if these things are building a reputation for you, isn't that better? In that way you eliminate the chance of becoming friends with people who are just not worth your time. Moreover, you find a few people who see through the bullshit and actually befriend you for YOU, in spite of the rumors or reputation or whatever. They know you for you, and they believe you, not some idiot who's got nothing to do but bitch about people.
Sure, towards the end of the book, there was some pretty dark stuff, stuff worthy enough of thinking about killing yourself, stuff that I can believe might lead some people to commit suicide. I think Hannah was raped, although I can't be sure. I mean, sure, what happened was Not Right, but can you really call it rape? Even if it wasn't consensual, it wasn't forced either. She just gave up. In fact, I think the reason she went there was because she WANTED to give up, and she needed a good reason. She admitted something to the same effect too, as far as I can remember. So that's one reason you can strike right off, because if she didn't willingly let the guy do it, in fact, if she didn't GO DOWN THERE AT ALL, when she knew she couldn't trust those people, she could have saved herself.
The other believable reason was when she let a girl get raped and didn't do anything about it, when she easily could have. Dude, it's Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince all over again! (The movie, not the book. I can never stress that enough. I mean, when the death eaters are pointing their wands at Dumbledore, Harry Potter, the real Harry Potter, would never stand there doing nothing. In the book, Dumbledore put a spell on him so he couldn't move. But in the movies? Oh well, too busy standing and making horror-struck faces to help my guide, my father figure, aren't I? Sorry for digressing.)
I have to admit that when I opened the book, I was so excited (yeah, I was excited about reading a book on why a girl killed herself, so sue me.) But with each passing cassette, my horror grew. Seriously, THIS is why she committed suicide? This is why she ended her LIFE?? Sure, I understand the snowball effect. One thing leads to another, everything affects everything and all that jazz, but isn't it a bit over-the-top and super dramatic, not to mention unnecessarily life-spoiling, for the people she blames? I still can't understand what exactly Courtney Crimsen did. So she was a fake person who just wanted everyone to like her. I ask, so what? Raise your hands if you know a person like that, have been hurt by a person like that.
Do not even get me started on poor Mr. Porter. What did the guy even do to deserve what he got? How was he supposed to know that he was the last chance a girl was betting on her life? How was he supposed to know that even after repeated attempts to stop her from going, he also had to walk out the door after her and compel her to come back and listen to him? How was he supposed to know that for that little indiscretion on his part (because it was. You're the guidance counselor. A student is contemplating suicide, and even mentions it, you have to go down on all fours and make sure s/he doesn't do it.) he would be forced to live the rest of his life in suffering, forever in the ocean of what-ifs..knowing he could somehow have altered her decision, saved her life?
Readers will also remember that at the beginning Hannah says that Person 13 can take the tapes to hell? I mean, there's some serious animosity there. Why did she do that to him? Didn't Bryce Walker deserve it? He fucking raped two girls. I swear when Mr. Porter's chapter was beginning, I was sure that he was going to make sexual advances towards her or something. I still don't understand WHY he's the unlucky thirteenth. He did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DESERVE THAT AGONY.
And yet....... I liked the book. I like what's going on (or what was going on, thanks to you, Hannah) between Clay and her. The anticipation building up to her first kiss, how hurt she feels when her first boyfriend betrays her and shatters all her magical dreams, that hurtful list she had to go through, which was not only offending, but also became the final straw to end her friendship with her one true friend in school, The Peeping Tom incident which grossed her out and made her feel unsafe, how guilty she feels when she cannot save a life when she could have, by easily calling the police, or how she could have saved that same friend from getting raped, how some jerk stole off her poem, where she explored some of her deepest emotions, which she herself hadn't managed to decipher, how she feels used because boys ask her out because they think they can get her laid, I get all of that.
I understand that she must have felt really hurt and betrayed, that she must have developed major trust issues which caused her to resist opening up to the perfect guy when she should have. Those things definitely must have scarred her.
Imagine yourself hiding in the closet while your ex-best friend gets raped. Imagine the torture you'd go through when you realize that you could have VERY easily stopped it but you didn't because...no reason. You don't even have a reason! Those things definitely did hurt.
I won't start on Hannah herself getting raped, because I think she brought that on herself, by going into the tub with a known rapist, by not stopping him when he touched her, by letting him take advantage of a girl YET AGAIN.
So what I am saying is that, I couldn't stop reading the book, because I felt really sorry for Hannah, and got disappointed with each story, because everyone she stumbled into kept hurting her some way or the other.
But none, I repeat, NONE, of the reasons were worthy enough of killing herself. I say that with complete knowledge and recollection of the fact that she was raped, but this was the TWELFTH reason, this was after she had already made up her mind, and just wanted a reason to give up, and so she set herself up. So it doesn't count.
All in all, I'll say that I think you should read the book, because as unbelievable as the reasons when you realize that they are what led to a girl killing herself, the stories are very real when you think of high school life. The author captures most emotions beautifully. The cruelty, the nasty rumors and how people react to them has been shown perfectly .If only Hannah had fought through and hadn't decided to give up.
Most of all, the book made me call a friend that I hadn't called up in a long while. We talk on WhatsApp, the friend calls me sometimes, and we meet in school, but this book made me call her, when I hadn't wanted to in a long, long time. Because suddenly, I realized that I continue to have a major impact in the lives of people around me, and especially those who are closest to me.
One sweet word here, another compliment there, really can lighten a sorry soul.
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