The joy of coming home

I'm coming home, I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming home
Let the rain wash away, all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits, and they've forgiven my mistakes
I'm coming home, I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming home.

As lame as it may sound, I had planned that I would listen to this song as my train would be nearing Varanasi, and listen to it I did. It was amazing! I could see a few of the people who were travelling with me give me a 'What's wrong with you?' look but I didn't care because he'll, I WAS coming home.

So many songs, so many novels, so many movies. I now understand why Shah Rukh Khan was so damned happy when he got off the plane in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham! Though I was quite a bit disappointed when my mother didn't welcome me with a thaali as I neared the apartment. But she did give me cold coffee. And bread! SANDWICH. Oh, how I missed sandwiches. I am such a lazy ass in my PG that I haven't even made Maggie once. I buy Cup Noodles so all I have to do is heat the water (technically, even THAT the microwave takes care of.)  Anyway, here are just a few of the things that have really made me appreciate home:

• A BATHROOM WHICH DOESN'T KILL MY WILL TO GET UP IN THE MORNING- Don't get me wrong, it's not like I live with those dirty, dirty guys from Delhi Belly. In fact, I am lucky that I actually like my roommates. But the point is, five girls sharing one bathroom is not the best.(I live with two girls but share a bathroom with four.) It's actually the worst. I hate hair in the drain, and there's ALWAYS hair in the drain (okay maybe not always, but even once in the day is enough to gross the hell out of you!). I don't like waiting when I have to you-know-what but I have to, quite a few times. I like a big mirror where I can see a bit more than my face but oh no, I have to make an effort to even see my neck properly. I HATE when water splashes over all my clothes when all I want to do is wash my face in the sink, but hell, that also happens. At home- No hair ever, take a shower as long as you want to and no one knocks (Wait, my mom does knock but I can ask her for Five more minutes like a million times), A BIG MIRROR so you can actually see how you look! Oh and let's not forget, you don't have to take your stuff with you to the bathroom because there is space for all your stuff and then some. Oh bathroom, how I love you.
• GHAR KA KHANA- I can't even believe I am going to say this but yes, there does come a point in life when the thought of eating out doesn't make you happy. The smell of chauki hui daal is better than the smell of say, a pizza? (Just for the time being, pizza. Trust me, my love for you is infinite. Please don't be angry with me?) I am guilty of asking my mother to make green vegetables for me. I may have been sad when there were no cabbages in the house. I don't want to embarrass myself more, you get the point. Roti-sabzi FTW!
• SLEEPING GHODE BECH KE- My routine ever since I have been back home is sleeping at 6 in the morning and waking up at 2, lazing around all day long and repeat. Literally. And on the rare days that I have to get up at inhuman hours in the morning, I can still sleep soundly knowing my mother will wake me up. (My roommate, the angel that she is, does wake me up in the morning but sometimes she forgets- even when I am sleeping next to her. You would think that is impossible but it's not. Later, she called me from college to wake me up. Once she didn't do that either and I ended up missing college. Which reminds me, NO FUCKING COLLEGE TO WAKE UP FOR.)
• FAMILIAR SURROUNDINGS- This is probably one of my favorites. I know where everything is, I know who everyone is, and everyone knows who I am. I don't mind saying Namaste aunty a million times when I go downstairs. In fact, it's so weird that the people I avoided before seem like such amazing people to spend time with. Absence makes the heart grow fonder? I don't think that's about it. It's just the feeling that I belong here, with these wonderfully weird people. Need to get a rainbow patterned kite? I know just where the shop is.
• COMMUTING PROBLEM? UM, WHAT'S THAT?- What? I need to go from Greater Kailash to Sarita Vihar? Okay what's the nearest metro station? Commuting charges? THESE QUESTIONS DON'T MATTER ANYMORE BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? I have a car. I have a driver. Moreover, Benares is in probably in a smaller radius than South Delhi. When people in Delhi tell you some place isn't far off, bas bagal me hai, it can take you anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. In Benares? If someone says some place isn't far off, you can be sure that if you miss it, it's probably because you pass it in like two seconds.
• MONEY MANAGEMENT? WHATEVER- No more going to Reliance Fresh with a budget in mind, crossing stuff off of a list, buying yogurt and milk, coffee and iced tea, Tang and Cup Noodles, because everything is already taken care of at home. No more thinking twice before buying anything (except maybe something like an iPhone 6) because you're at home, you can always ask for more when you're done. (My mom does give me killer looks, but I give her my puppy face right back!) Besides, what exactly do you need to spend money on? Bahar ka khana has almost lost all its appeal, you don't need to go grocery shopping, no spending on commuting. Basically, absolutely nothing. Except books. ALWAYS BOOKS!
• NO DAILY CHORES- No washing personal utensils when you eat Maggie, or collecting your clothes from the rack after they've been washed. No cleaning your bed or your table, or you room. No going to Mother Dairy to get milk every evening. At home, you can just sit back, relax and let everything come to you. #LikeABoss
• BENARES!!!!- This is unique only to people from Benares. I missed watching cows and pigs on the road, hearing people yell at each other in Bhojpuri, going up to people and talking to them in HINDI, for a change, and just the unique something that people in Benares are just born with.
• THE HOUSE ITSELF- I have lived in the same house ever since I have had coherent memories. I could easily walk in it in the dark without bumping into anything (much). When I came home, I almost felt like the furniture was also smiling at me. Oh, Drawing room, dining room, kitchen, balcony, I love you too.
• MAMMA- This is the best thing about coming home. Home is home because of you mamma. Stressed? Depressed? Happy? Excited? A mom hug is always needed. :')

Present and Future

Lately my hands have been itching a lot more than they should. I have been posting a lot more on Facebook than I ought to. I actually THOUGHT of my Twitter account, which has only ever served the purpose of easy celebrity stalking. (Can you believe the celebrity I stalk the most is Lucy Hale? That girl would definitely be my best friend if we knew each other in real life. She is almost as weird as Yashwi which is saying a lot if you know Yashwi.) But I knew matters were very serious when the thought of a journal crossed my mind. All of this could only mean one thing.
It meant that I hadn't written anything in a long long time. 
My last post dates back to December 2013 for crying out loud. I am obviously not counting the endless WhatsApp and Facebook Messenger conversations my mom would more than happily vouch for.
Anyway, let's get to insanely happy things. I am pretty sure I was pulled back into the literary world because all my literary dreams have come true! (Okay they have started to. Baby steps.) I got into Shaheed Bhagat Singh College, Delhi University in English Honors. ENGLISH HONORS!!!!! ENGGGLIIIISSSSHHHH HONOOOORRRRSSSS. It is only what I have wanted since I had enough sense to know what I want. And get this, I read the course structure online and the first thing we will read is Pride and Prejudice. Um, does the fact that I will get to read my favorite classic in the beginning of college year point out that I am in fact on the right direction in life? Obviously yes.
And I am insanely in love with Dilli. (Dilli sounds more beautiful than Delhi doesn't it? I feel it captures the unique beauty of the city effectively. Delhi sounds too catty.) I met this journalist in the train and she gave me some beautiful advice (which I think is why God made us cross paths. What difference did I make in her life.. I wonder.) She told me Dilli is the best place on earth if you follow her rules. If Dilli asks you to beware of idiots, beware. If Dilli asks you to get back home by 10, get back home by 10. Do whatever the hell you want, but stay inside the frame. I can be all idealistic and go "why can't I roam around when boys do it all the time?" but it is tantamount to venturing into a jungle without weapons, a jungle full of terribly dangerous animals. And that is exactly what people capable of hurting others are. Terribly dangerous animals. They are not boys, they are not human. Come on, they are unable to control their desires in the face of bare flesh. They even proudly admit to it (We only rape you cause you show us your skin) Excuse me? Not. Human. 
In case you are wondering, not all of it was her. She gave the Dilli and rules thing, but as you might have noticed I have this habit of rambling on. Anyway it struck a chord somewhere and this is one rule I plan on following. (At least for now. I cannot say what I will do when my friends go clubbing at night. Pepper spray!!!! Wait. Did this nullify the entire paragraph?) 

Also, I am at a point in my life where the only thing worse than staying at home is leaving and the only thing worse than leaving is staying at home. I can't leave home but I can't stay here. How the fuck do people do it? Hundreds of thousands of people do it every year. Hell, people I know closely are doing it. How? I shudder to think of the moment when I leave here, knowing that I am leaving. Frustratingly, I also shudder to think of a scenario where I abandon all this, get into BHU, and realize I will be stuck here for another five years. 
Is this how it is supposed to feel? Such contradicting problems that there is just no solution. 
I am hoping I find my way soon, very soon, like everyone apparently does.